Ps. 38.19-22 (conclusion: sickness, enemies and intervention)

“My enemies / without cause / are numerous – and those who hate me / for no reason / are countless. – And those / who repay evil / for good – are my adversaries / in my pursuit of the good.” Our reflections thus far have shown twin deteriorations due to sin: bodily (vs. 3-8) and social (vs. 10-14). In this third section of the psalm, where the psalmist recounts his experience and his response to it, we find him moving back and forth between these two deteriorating conditions of his. In our immediately preceding reflection we saw how the psalmist was ‘concerned about his sin’ and sought confession (presumably by way of sacrifice) and yet was willing to accept the ongoing ramifications of his sin in and through his sickness (I am ‘prepared for limping’). That focus seemed to be on his bodily ailments. Here, in these verses, he now turns his attention to the enemies that have ‘smelled blood’ and are circling him. Interestingly, as we noted before, the party’s that he love are not mentioned. A question is why these men follow the confession? Why didn’t the psalmist lump this category in with his physical ailments and then make confession? I think there is an important point in this: the psalmist’s physical sickness, although a manifestation of his sin, did not contain a ‘will of its own’. We saw that in our initial reflection on the aim and purpose of sickness. By contrast, as the psalms make abundantly clear, the wicked willingly seek destruction of the righteous. The point is this: confession can, potentially, have an effect on sickness but, by contrast, it could only heighten the attack of enemies. In order to take care of his enemies he does not necessarily need to confess (or, better, he also needs to) as much as he needs Yhwh to intervene and deliver him, which is precisely what the following (and concluding verses) ask for—“Do not abandon me / O Yhwh – O my God / do not be / far from me. – Come quickly / to my aid – O Yhwh / my Victory.” This interpretation makes sense of a puzzlement. The opening of the psalm shows the psalmist almost asking Yhwh to be distant from him (because he saw him as causing his sickness, in some manner), whereas the conclusion is of the psalmist asking Yhwh to come close. If our interpretation is correct, the reason for the contrast is that, here, at the end, he is focused on his enemies and the need for Yhwh to intervene.

Ps. 38,17-18 (sin, confession and penance)

“But I am prepared / for limping – and my pain / is continually / before me.” From his petition for healing we now find a type of acceptance on the part of the psalmist that, in fact, he may continue in his plight. He recognizes that Yhwh may not in face heal him. To me, especially in light of what has preceded this section, this is rather shocking. Are we finding here an acceptance on his part as to the effect (the sickness) of his sin? That he is willing to shoulder the burden of his sin, without complaint, because he knows that he is culprit and not Yhwh? This ‘readiness’ makes the following verse particularly interesting: “Indeed / I will declare / my wickedness – I am concerned / about my sin.” From his readiness to accept the effect of sin he moves into an actual confession of that sin. This is a remarkable statement regarding the psalmist’s understanding of sin, its effects and his responsibility toward it. First, the psalmist acknowledges (much like David did) that the effect of sin lingers long after its confession. It has a temporal reality to it that is not extinguished by way of its confession. Hence, he is ready ‘for limping’. Second, this reveals that the psalmist is concerned, primarily, with removing sin (as an obstacle?) from his life. Although the sin manifests itself in his dire sickness and in his alienation from others, its reality is more deeply rooted than those effects. In essence, the psalmist does not equate the effects of sin with sin itself. Third, the psalmist knows that confession of one’s sin, even if it does not eradicate sin’s effect, is crucial. One might surmise that sin grows by and through silence; that sin’s sun and warmth is the coldness and isolation of an individual’s refusal to confess. On the other hand, confession brings sin to light and causes its withering. Lastly, by accepting sin’s effect and confessing it, the psalmist engages in a form of penance. His willingness to ‘go on limping’ is his shouldering and accepting of the punishment ‘residue’ of sin (this is classic penance). Certainly, as we will see, he hopes for Yhwh’s deliverance and an ‘end to his limping’, but he is prepared to go on limping if it does not arrive. What is most important, is that he has confessed, that he is “concerned about my sin”. And who knows how this acceptance and penance is to operate within Yhwh’s schemes? How, dramatically, it will play a role assigned to it?

Ps. 38 16 (confrontation)

“For I said / “Lest my enemies / rejoice.” – They exalted / themselves / over me / when my foot slipped.” If one is not familiar with the mode of expression in the initial line, it would seem obscure at best and misinterpreted at worst. The full implication is something along the lines of: “Deliver me, lest my enemies rejoice over me and your name is scoffed at among my enemies.” The fact that the honor due Yhwh’s name has been left out is important, in the sense that I feel fairly certain the original listeners would have clearly understood what the gist of the line was driving out. Without that understanding, however, the line can appear to be only self-reflective (“Deliver me, lest my enemies rejoice.”). There is an important point in this as it relates to the context of this psalm: deliverance, by way of healing from sickness, redounds not simply to the psalmist, but to Yhwh’s glory as it displays his power over the sickness. In other words, there is always the potentiality that this god is not as powerful as the sickness; that, in one way or another, he cannot overcome the infestation due to the psalmist’s sin. The psalmist, in imploring Yhwh to heal him, is, therefore, asking that Yhwh display not simply a self-serving healing but his authority over the realm of sickness itself. In other words, this act of healing would be a dramatic confrontation between Yhwh and forces opposed to him; it is not merely spectacle but a dramatic encounter (more like a battle than a ‘display’). Likewise, as we have seen the close relationship between the enemies and sickness, when Yhwh displays this power he will also be revealing his authority over the psalmist’s enemies. The important point to catch in this: that in Yhwh’s acts of deliverance, as in healings, he is not merely healing the individual but displaying the authority (the “glory”) of his name over the forces that tend to disrupt his creation. And this is a beautiful thing: because in this we see Yhwh’s authority as one that desires and seeks out the re-creation of his wounded creatures. It is not (merely) in a display of brute power but of healing. And, in that healing, we are witnessing a true revealing of Yhwh (not merely, as I said before, a ‘display’ but a real vision).

Ps. 38.15 (pivot: covenant as source of silence and petition)

“But / I have waited / for you / O Yhwh – you will answer / O Yhwh / my God.” This is, arguably, the center of the psalm and its pivot. This is clear when we look at the previous and following verse. In the previous verse the psalmist ended on a note of desperation and of inability to speak. Here, we first encounter him ‘waiting’ and then asserting his assurance in being ‘heard’. This mixture of ‘waiting’, as a form of passivity, and then of ‘being heard’, as a form of active supplication, embraces this sense of his silence (passivity) before his enemies and yet also points out that he is not merely silent. Rather, within his silence is an un-vocalized word of prayer and hope (“you will answer”). And this shifts our attention to the following verse: “For I said: “Lest my enemies rejoice.””. On either side of this verse, then, we have silence in front of enemies (vs. 14) and petition to Yhwh (vs. 16). Verse 15, then, represents this tension of silence and petition, of waiting and of supplication. This is enhanced by the observation of his claiming “you will answer O Yhwh my God.” As we have noted in many other reflections, this is the classic formula for referring to the covenant between Yhwh and his people (“you will be my people, and I will be your god.”). Therefore, sitting beneath his silence and providing the very means for his supplication is this intimate and dynamic covenantal connection between the psalmist and Yhwh. It is an impressive bit of formal maneuvering on the part of the psalmist as well by placing this statement at the very heart and pivot of the psalm. It points to the fact that this dynamic and tension between his silence in the face of his enemies (and his sickness) and his petition to Yhwh is grounded and embraced by the prior covenantal act of Yhwh.

Ps. 38.13-14 (a mule who doesn't open his mouth)

“But / I am like / a deaf man / I do not hear! – and like a mule / who doesn’t open / his mouth – and I have become / like a man / who doesn’t hear – and has no arguments / in his mouth.” In a previous reflection we discussed how the form of this poem is important in interpretation. We noted, in particular, how there are three sections that all climax in assertions of futility and then prayer to Yhwh. The first section ended in vs. 8 with the psalmist declaring he was ‘numb’ and ‘crying in distress; then followed a prayer to Yhwh. Here, something similar happens although there are important changes that highlight this section’s primary concerns of social disintegration and alienation. I’ve read that the contrast of this verse with the “muttering deceptions” provides some type of respite to the psalmist because at least he can’t hear them. I find this reading, to put it mildly, ridiculous. There has been no indication, previously, that any of his afflictions are anything but horrible to him. Furthermore, his deafness is soon matched by him comparing himself to a mute mule which is clearly a very demeaning image. In addition, such an observation looses sight of the fact that his ‘deafness’ is matched by his inability to verbally defend himself. These must be read in tandem and seen as twin catastrophes. His inability to hear is, when seen from this perspective, not positive. It is not insulating. Rather it is isolating. Just as this section’s focus has been social alienation and isolation, so too, now, are his senses preventing him from communing with those around him. In other words, his deafness is a physical display of his social isolation and deprivation. His inability to speak, on the other hand, represents his inability to defend himself against the attacks of those who are seeking his life. In addition, his inability to speak is contrasted with the powerful words emanating from his enemies (…they who looked for my downfall spoke of destruction; and they muttered deceptions all day long). As we indicated yesterday, this sensory deprivation (of hearing and speech) is a further manifestation of the consuming power of sin. Just as sin is ravishing his body in sickness, so too is it deafening and silencing him, forcing him into isolation and making him progressively more and more defenseless to his enemy’s onslaught. This is the final moment of weakness for the psalmist; indeed, it may be there is nothing left except a cry of desperation. The next section will focus on his confession of sin and calling upon Yhwh. A concluding reflection: I was struck by his comparison of himself to a mule. This is a powerfully demeaning metaphor. The psalmist seems himself in almost purely objectified fashion, just as the mule (not a horse) is largely portrayed as beast who is entirely led around and without much will of its own. A silent mule only compounds the sense that the psalmist not only finds himself isolated, weak and vulnerable—but also that he envisions himself as a beast who is entirely common and lowly.